söndag, mars 09, 2008

Putting the Ego on Diet

For almost a year I read and practiced almost exclusively the teaching of Eckhart Tolle. I can remember thinking that this is all I need, nothing more can be added to this teaching that I need. And then what happened?
I moved on.
Maybe it was the need for variety. I got bored with hearing Eckharts voice when listening to the CD:s. I got bored with reading the same things over and over again. I wanted to understand more. I think that is the main explanation why I moved on to other teachers. The need for more - more understanding, more information

More, more, more, more ….

And what in me is in need for more?

The ego.

So the ego in me started to investigate into itself. I think as a strategy for survival. Som kind of Ego-defense. I came across Integral Theory and Ken Wilbers book and guess what I found? …. More …
I learned that the ego has to be transcended but not excluded. I adapted one of Wilbers mantras – TRANSCEND AND INCLUDE
Wow, that was all my ego needed to hear. The ego could be included, it could avoid destruction. Now it was allowed to stay in charge. My ego became so happy, it was ok, it was included, participating, honoured.
And my egos "intellectual understanding" of nonduality grew. It had a great time.
But then I heard Ken Wilber say you have to pick a spiritual practice AND STAY WITH IT. And he added a saying – chase two rabbits, catch neither.

That was about half a year ago and I remember thinking. Ok, Ken Wilber is NOT a spiritual teacher and his writings is not a spiritual teaching. Wow, that was a revelation. And then I began to notice that he is very clear about that – he is the mapmaker - not the guru. He helps seekers fit their path/teaching into a broader cultural context. And I guess that was what I needed. Not only my ego but the whole seeking process that’s going on in this bodymind called Björn. In order to stop identifying with my ego I needed these maps by Ken Wilber. But the urge for picking a teaching and sticking with it has grown stronger since then. And now it has reached a climax.

And I have picked a teaching.
The one by Eckhart Tolle.
And I will do all the practices for at least one year. And during this time I will not read or surf the internet for other teachings with two exceptions:

Ken Wilbers and Adyashanti.

I have one teaching and only one and that is Eckhart Tolles. But then I have a map which helps me integrate Tolles teaching in a broader cultural context. And finally I have a place to go when my ego needs a little variety and that is Adyashanti. Well, not only because of my egos need for variety, it’s also because I love what comes through Adyashanti and the way he interprets it.

Now I know something I didn't know a year ago. I have to face boredome. I have to WALK the talk and that is not exciting at all. It's hard work. It demands discipline. And finally, this year is not going to be interesting. My ego is from now on on a diet, a spiritual and intellectual diet.

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3 kommentarer:

  1. Hej Björn!
    Helt riktigt, jag blir glad av att läsa det du beskriver i "putting the ego on Diet". Tänker på dig då och då. Mycket klarsynt, bra beslut.

    MVH Roshi :)

  2. Hej Björn!
    Helt riktigt, jag blir glad av att läsa det du beskriver i "putting the ego on Diet". Tänker på dig då och då. Mycket klarsynt, bra beslut.

    MVH Roshi :)

  3. Tack!
    behöver uppmuntran i det beslutet, för det kommer bli boooooring .... är det inte boooooring så är det bara food för ego, ...typ ....