tisdag, maj 13, 2008

Being awake

What does this mean? What is the pattern here, does it mean pain or pleasure?
Our minds are constantly asking these questions. Nirvana is no exception, a Satoriexperience is no exception! I can see that now. Finally.
Why is this search for meaning endless, or almost endless, for most people only interrupted by some rare moments of clarity and peace?? It’s not actually endless, but it will go on as long as our bodyminds will go on. Without this brainactivity we will be in great danger. Trying to stop this activity is not only impossible in the long run, it’s lifethreatening. Many teachings are trying to do exactly that – shutting down our security system.
In the Satsang-culture emphasis is on trying to bring about Satori-experiences in the students. That’s fine but what most Satsang-teachers miss is to help the student interpret their Satori-experience. And if they offer interpretations it’s often by imposing on the student some ready-made model that wont work in the long run. It will work for a month, a year, maybe 3 years. But then the student will become confused and unhappy because the Satori-experience has to be interpreted and integrated, not only in the students personal story and history, but also in his/her social and cultural context.
I have finally understood that a Satori and all kind of mystical experiences HAS to have a meaning. And that meaning is NOT objective and absolute. It can never be. Two persons from different backgrounds can NEVER adopt the same interpretation of a Satori. NEVER EVER!!!!I guess this is the biggest epiphany I have had since I had my life changing Satori in 2004. This realisation didn’t come suddenly in this moment, no, it has developed gradually since I started to study Integral Theory.
Today I can see that all the Satsang teachers that warn us from involving the mind in the Satori are in fact ruining our possibilities to ever get stabilized and rooted in our awakening. At least they have sabotaged my chances to get stabilized in my awakening. I can speak only for myself but I can make a good guess that I am not alone.
Their intentions have of course been only the best. They have tried to point out that a Satori is beyond anything our minds can imagine. Of course it is. And if we want to we can stop right there. We can give up. Sit down on a park bench and bliss out.
When you go into the awake state, the timeless Now, there are two thoughts and feelings that will always come up.
I can die now. Not that I want to die, but this is it, this is perfect, this is eternal, THIS IS IT, so why go on? But at the same time, WHY NOT go on. It doesn’t matter. Nothing will ever matter again, not in an absolute sense. The fundamental difference is that now EVERYTHING matters absolutely – every little speck of dust, every little detail, every cloud in the sky, every smile, every word from everybody is one aspect, one expression of THIS ONE and ONLY perfect, always evolving and changing MYSTERY.It’s like the brain have stopped looking for patterns indicating pain or pleasure. It’s like the endless number of possible patterns are coming all at once, making the brain burn and in that fire, in that light everything becomes something unbelievably beautiful and amazing. Concepts like pain and pleasure disappears like shadows in this bright light of awakening to the Timeless Now.
This life doesn’t mean anything to me! You will start to feel that the only thing that matters is if your unique bodymind can mean anything to life.
You stop asking what you are going to do with your life and start to ask what life is going to do with you. It’s surrender to life. A surrender that can be a blessing or a curse.

From here on, from the awakened state, your path will be full of traps. Living in the awakened state is dangerous. Not to you, not to what you really are, but to the bodymind you are inhabiting. Why is it dangerous?
It’s because the concept of meaning becomes transparent. Meaning becomes like shadows. If you loose meaning and space out into some detached state of timeless bliss accompanied by a distant cry for direction and meaning in time, you will soon become either insane or turn back into a sleep state where your memories of being awake fade out and become nothing but memories of a bad dream when in reality it’s the other way round.

Therefore, Once awake, you have to start intentionally choose a meaning. I was about to say that you have to INVENT a meaning but that is another trap, meaning is something we inherit down through our cultures, it’s a collective thing, not an egotrip. But what if your culture or the social context you operate within is completely unable to provide any meaning to your awakened state? Well, welcome to reality for most awakened people. Then you can find a Sangha on the internet. That is one of the blessings that Internet have brought to the world.
Most importantly you have to find a meaning to being awake, a meaning to the Satori-experience. What does it mean?? Can it make you a better person or does it give you permission to stay the way you are, accept that you are a pig and go on acting like a pig.
Why not pick a meaning, or a Map Of Meaning (MOM like Anthony Robbins calls it) that will allow you to contribute in a way you never thought possible. Why not let the light of freedom shine on everyone you encounter and open their eyes to the beauty and mystery of life??
I’ve picked the MOM provided by Integral Theory. A MOM that I am about to make MINE. A Unique MOM suited for this bodymind only.....

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3 kommentarer:

  1. Hej!
    Vad är din uppfattning om Deeksha och Oneness-rörelsen?

  2. Hej!
    Jag har alldeles för mycket uppfattningar och för lite erfarenheter. Efter att följt det Freddie Nielsen skrivit om sitt avhopp så har jag svårt att vara okritisk. Men egots uppgift är att vara kritisk och försiktig, det är ok, bara man inte identifierar sig med denna mekanism hos egot... oj, det lät jobbigt mässande och undervisande. Det var inte min mening.
    Sedan upplever jag inte att den upplysning man talar om inom Oneness-rörelsen har så mycket att göra med den upplysning jag talar om. Men det är ett annat kapitel jag iofs gärna återkommer till.
    Vad är din egen uppfattning??


  3. Precis som din :) Ville bara testa först innan jag säger för mycket... Har börjat läsa din bok på nätet och känner verkligen äntligen någon som har fattat. Mailar min till dig - förhoppningsvis bekräftar den dig på samma sätt tillbaka!