tisdag, november 04, 2008

The keys that I don't use are worthless

I love Byron Katies The Work – but I have never really practiced it. I love The Work and simultaneously it scares the hell out of me. I want to enter into the Kingdom of heaven but I want to carry my story with me. But there is no place for my story in heaven. The moment “my story” enters into heaven it immediately transforms into hell – hell meaning suffering, problems, conflicts, ego ego and MORE EGO.....

I tried to do The Work for more than 4 years ago. I had the same feeling back then that I have right know – The Work is all I need to do – it's what I live for – it's a tool that cuts through illusion like a razor blade. I knew it – I tried it – and it worked – and I became scared and ran away. I became so scared of waking up that I passed another 4 years distracting myself with the search for new and better insights and tools... And I found new insights and tools, lots of insights and tools. And guess what, insights and tools, in them selves, are worthless unless you use them. And I have never really used any of all the keys I have found on my spiritual search. I am a chicken.

Is that true?

How do I feel when I believe the thought that I am a chicken? How does that belief make me treat myself and others?

Who would I be without the belief that I am a chicken?

.... well, I guess I will have to do the work on that one ...

Am I really scared of waking up? Is that true? That is ... right now .. right here ... is it true that I am afraid of waking up?

All I have to do is to live life with an open heart, embrace what is and what happens, and do the work on every reaction.

Is that true?

.... well ..........

The work is only for the stressful thoughts. That's the beauty of it. That's why it works. To start and question every belief that is full of hope and love and clarity ... that is not the work. That is Jed McKenna. Why question thoughts that are not stressful?

Ask me, I have done that. For many weeks now. I have questioned EVERYTHING. And maybe that was what I needed to discover the power and love that is in the process called “The Work”. We need the love. We need the peace. Otherwise we will never wake up. It becomes too hard. Byron Katie is like a Jed McKenna with heart. I can't make this awakening journey without love and peace. I have tried ... hard ...

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