söndag, november 16, 2008

Judge Björn

All my judgments – how could I live inside this heavy black cloud of judgments without becoming suffocated? How do other people manage to live inside their clouds of judgments?

Seeing this doesn't make it go away! Seeing that I am a judge. But it's the first step.

Judge Björn..... watch out for him!

How can anybody love me? I don't understand it! It's a mystery that there actually are people in this world who say they love me. They choose to live with me. How is that possible? I constantly judge everybody including myself.

And what about the heavy black cloud of opinions. How could I breathe?? It's a mystery.

Right now I can only see one judgment – reality is perfect ...

... and one opinion – I am overwhelmed by gratitude ... for everything ... heaven, hell, pain, suffering, ignorance, confusion, darkness .... AND BEATY. It's all beautiful

This is grace. Moments like this. Altered states of consciousness.

But it will pass. How do I know that?

Fear. Projecting the past in the future. Past suffering automatically becomes future suffering. I can see how this works. The wheel of Samsara. Fear runs the whole show!

Whenever I judge somebody, something or myself – I will do The Work. No thoughts are true. But it's not enough to believe in that as a concept. That would just be another thought to believe in. I have tried that for several years and it hasn't worked very well. I have to do The Work.

To say that there is nobody here who can do anything is another belief. Advaita can easily become like any other religion.

I am melting. Reality is shining on my judgments and my opinions. And the light of reality is like a laser. My judgment and opinions melt away. And I am nothing but my judgments and opinions. I am melting away. That's what it feels like.

I surrender. Here and now. .... and if I will start fighting back (I know, I know, it's nothing but a thought, nothing but a projection of the past) I will do The Work. I will love any thought. And loving a thought is not believing it. It's understanding it. It is to understand that thoughts are nothing but emptiness dancing.

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